song for an unmet lover (this is clumsy)

i would swallow what little poetic
integrity i posess
and become commercial
no one's buying, of course
but i would rhyme 'love' with 'above'
and call it new

and why, you ask why
sacrifice the I
for i
for some pie-in-the sky notion
of how to fly

to watch an uneventful meteor shower
pick up dirty clothes
watch you drink too much wine
make love in the kitchen
fight with your mother
fight with our children
not speak for days
then stay up all night
to watch you die
as i
wished for it first
you ask why

i would write a poem like this,
so blatant and obvious, and well
its like this:
in my imagined world of possibilities
and exciting ambiguities
real and fabricated tragedies,
you will outlast any recycled
philosophy
this pen could ever write


-J