Random thought

People call me articulate because I am very good at speaking my mind and expressing my thoughts. But I'd rather be able to say whats in my heart.

Remember

Remember
all those
times
when
it was the worst
it could ever be
remember?

Remember
when
it hurt more
than any other time before
and nothing
would be good again
remember then?

Remember
when it was late
a night
not too different
from this night
remember?

Well, it's all
gonna be alright
it's all
gonna be alright
remember?


-J

Thought for the day/night

It doesn't matter whether or not its good. It just matters that its there.

Thank you.

Sometimes really great things happen. For a really short span of time. And you think, wow, that was awesome. And then, just like that, they're gone. And you wonder, what was the point? How do I get it back? It's not fair!

Maybe. But I think, its like a preview. Or better than a preview. Its the realization of a possibility. A taste of what can be. What will be. It's like being 13 years old, and your mom drops you off at the movie theatre and you're allowed to go to the movie with your best friend all by yourself. You buy your own ticket from your own money that you take out of your pocketbook that you just started carrying. You buy whatever candy or popcorn you want, cause its your money, and no one else can tell you what to buy. You can sit anywhere you want. For a few hours, you feel like what you've always wanted to be - an adult. Free. You don't realize the freedom you already have, being 13, you just see and taste the goodness of the adulthood you so desperately want to experience. And then your mom comes to pick you up, and you go home, and you have to do everything your parents say, once again. But you wait. and you wait. And you jump for those little moments, those little opportunities where you can get a taste of that freedom again, to get you by until finally, you're a real adult, and can live that world every day of your life.

And of course, like any wish and dream and taste of our desires, when we get what we want, its not always exactly what we expect. And we think about the times before we had what we wanted, or got to where we wanted to go, and we smile, because that was a different kind of happiness, a different kind of freedom.

And so I won't ask why, or what the point was. I'll thank whatever gods may be that you gave me the best taste of whats to come. I'll hold to that, until the next opportunity arises to find it. Thank you.

For Someone

Would you like to know what I think of you?
Well for starters, I wish that your eyes were blue
that your figure was maybe a little more Greek,
and you made sense when you opened your mouth to speak.

Would you like to know what I think of you?
With those wiry black hairs on your head all askew,
mismatched socks for the foot then the shoe
and God, do I wish that your eyes were blue.

Would you like to know what I think of you?
And the things that you say though I don't want you to?
And those things that you mean without knowing you do,
but your room's never clean, and you don't follow through.

Would you like to know what I think of you
when the morning sun rises and everything's new
and I'm groggy from all of the snoring you do,
would you like to know, then, what I think about you?

Well, when your eyes of molasses passes my gaze
and I see you've remained unshaven for days
and I reach for that cheek neither smooth nor clean
it's the most beautiful thing that I've ever seen.

Someone's already said this before, in some way, probably better than me, but its the only way to say how I feel right now.

life lived without richness, wherever you may find it, is not worth living.

My Creed (not the band fronted by Scott Stapp)

I believe in lots of things,
do they believe in me?
I put my trust in wonderings
and all that I can see

There might be a god above
and there might be a hell
I know damn sure that there's an earth
the rest, I couldn't tell

but I believe in lots of things
like words and birds and bees
dust of death and baby's breath
and islands overseas

I've never seen an igloo
but I bet that they exist
I believe there is some prince inside
of every frog I've kissed

I believe in the Eiffel tower
and that England has a Queen
and the Pyramids of Egypt
in things I've never seen

I believe in lots of things
that have never known of me
and I believe, but yet I leave
the trust to what I see

So I believe in love and god and hell
and even sand,
but you know, I'll never trust it
till I hold it in my hand

-J