For Mary

All around me I see tragedy
people are dying and crying and trying
to see
afraid of what may be
and here I fly away,
to an endless sunny day
and all the while I'm trying to say

life is a wasteland wonderland
though the unplanned, underhanded
ways are trying to steal your spark
keep holding on,
holding on in the dark

the monsters have broken down my door,
i've been the broken down angel on the floor
the tigers have come, the reaper close
and all the while i've tried to smile
I suppose
because I know,
yes I know

life is a wasteland wonderland
though the unplanned, underhanded
ways are trying to steal your spark
keep holding on,
holding on in the dark

and I believe that even in death it follows so
that we live eternal for all that we know
and that love's not a feeling but a legacy kept
a promise to all who will leave, who have left
they steal your body, they steal your bones
they can break that shell, they can leave you all alone
but the heart is a fire that smolders untamed
for even the basest, faceless unnamed,
its embers fed from the lives of those you leave behind

life is a wasteland wonderland
though the unplanned, underhanded
ways are trying to steal your spark
keep holding on,
holding on in the dark

a little girl smiles and the light in here eyes
casts out the schemes and the demons and lies
her bright shiny heart is a testament to
all the things that life had waiting for you
and the angel you left to see it all through

No More

No more eating the scraps from the table.
No more throwing yourself down, just to see if you're able.
No more waiting.
No more calculating.
No more tasting the rotten fruits of deceit.
No more breaking your own heart just to see if it still beats.
No more rolling in the hay with pigs.
No more groupies of the gigs.
No more taking the road detoured.
No more needing time explored.
No more chalking it up to live and learn.
No more intentional crash and burn.
No more running wild and scared.
No more feeling unprepared.
No more hopelessness preserved.
No more less than what you deserve.

And you know what? Fuck, I do deserve it.

The Art Dealer

I should have known
I mean really, here's the man
who spends his life
telling other people
what they're worth.

Literally.
Dollars.
Cents.
Euro, Yen, whatever
a price for every one-
what will you pay?
Everything can be bought and sold, you know

I sat.
I listened rapturously
I drank the red wine you put in front of me
and I bought it

Batted my eyes as you talked about Hong-Kong
and giggled shyly as you comment
on my delicate manner, eating tiger prawns.
Why does no one take such care like that
these days? he asks, a faded London-lilt

I feel like a fairy princess
and am already disgusted with myself
for reasons I cannot name,
but smoking one of your cigarettes,
you know, the ones from Nairobi?
Oh you've never been?
Well here, let me light you up, he says.

and I do.

In your hotel room later,
I give you my best offer
you give a twist to an empty left-hand finger
you should keep your valuables closer, I say
after all, with the price of things
ah yes, the price of everything, he says
which you know well,
you then mumble something about Renoir
and antique watches

Random thought

People call me articulate because I am very good at speaking my mind and expressing my thoughts. But I'd rather be able to say whats in my heart.

Remember

Remember
all those
times
when
it was the worst
it could ever be
remember?

Remember
when
it hurt more
than any other time before
and nothing
would be good again
remember then?

Remember
when it was late
a night
not too different
from this night
remember?

Well, it's all
gonna be alright
it's all
gonna be alright
remember?


-J

Thought for the day/night

It doesn't matter whether or not its good. It just matters that its there.