The Art Dealer

I should have known
I mean really, here's the man
who spends his life
telling other people
what they're worth.

Literally.
Dollars.
Cents.
Euro, Yen, whatever
a price for every one-
what will you pay?
Everything can be bought and sold, you know

I sat.
I listened rapturously
I drank the red wine you put in front of me
and I bought it

Batted my eyes as you talked about Hong-Kong
and giggled shyly as you comment
on my delicate manner, eating tiger prawns.
Why does no one take such care like that
these days? he asks, a faded London-lilt

I feel like a fairy princess
and am already disgusted with myself
for reasons I cannot name,
but smoking one of your cigarettes,
you know, the ones from Nairobi?
Oh you've never been?
Well here, let me light you up, he says.

and I do.

In your hotel room later,
I give you my best offer
you give a twist to an empty left-hand finger
you should keep your valuables closer, I say
after all, with the price of things
ah yes, the price of everything, he says
which you know well,
you then mumble something about Renoir
and antique watches

Random thought

People call me articulate because I am very good at speaking my mind and expressing my thoughts. But I'd rather be able to say whats in my heart.

Remember

Remember
all those
times
when
it was the worst
it could ever be
remember?

Remember
when
it hurt more
than any other time before
and nothing
would be good again
remember then?

Remember
when it was late
a night
not too different
from this night
remember?

Well, it's all
gonna be alright
it's all
gonna be alright
remember?


-J

Thought for the day/night

It doesn't matter whether or not its good. It just matters that its there.

Thank you.

Sometimes really great things happen. For a really short span of time. And you think, wow, that was awesome. And then, just like that, they're gone. And you wonder, what was the point? How do I get it back? It's not fair!

Maybe. But I think, its like a preview. Or better than a preview. Its the realization of a possibility. A taste of what can be. What will be. It's like being 13 years old, and your mom drops you off at the movie theatre and you're allowed to go to the movie with your best friend all by yourself. You buy your own ticket from your own money that you take out of your pocketbook that you just started carrying. You buy whatever candy or popcorn you want, cause its your money, and no one else can tell you what to buy. You can sit anywhere you want. For a few hours, you feel like what you've always wanted to be - an adult. Free. You don't realize the freedom you already have, being 13, you just see and taste the goodness of the adulthood you so desperately want to experience. And then your mom comes to pick you up, and you go home, and you have to do everything your parents say, once again. But you wait. and you wait. And you jump for those little moments, those little opportunities where you can get a taste of that freedom again, to get you by until finally, you're a real adult, and can live that world every day of your life.

And of course, like any wish and dream and taste of our desires, when we get what we want, its not always exactly what we expect. And we think about the times before we had what we wanted, or got to where we wanted to go, and we smile, because that was a different kind of happiness, a different kind of freedom.

And so I won't ask why, or what the point was. I'll thank whatever gods may be that you gave me the best taste of whats to come. I'll hold to that, until the next opportunity arises to find it. Thank you.

For Someone

Would you like to know what I think of you?
Well for starters, I wish that your eyes were blue
that your figure was maybe a little more Greek,
and you made sense when you opened your mouth to speak.

Would you like to know what I think of you?
With those wiry black hairs on your head all askew,
mismatched socks for the foot then the shoe
and God, do I wish that your eyes were blue.

Would you like to know what I think of you?
And the things that you say though I don't want you to?
And those things that you mean without knowing you do,
but your room's never clean, and you don't follow through.

Would you like to know what I think of you
when the morning sun rises and everything's new
and I'm groggy from all of the snoring you do,
would you like to know, then, what I think about you?

Well, when your eyes of molasses passes my gaze
and I see you've remained unshaven for days
and I reach for that cheek neither smooth nor clean
it's the most beautiful thing that I've ever seen.

Someone's already said this before, in some way, probably better than me, but its the only way to say how I feel right now.

life lived without richness, wherever you may find it, is not worth living.