Lolita Grows Up

I have always been pretty
and don't you deny it
it's true
I wasn't mean,
but I was pretty,
and for most
that was basically the same thing.

I have always been pretty
and don't say I'm not
because it's the truth
and I had no innocence,
not by any stretch
but I was pretty,
so for most,
that was basically the same thing.

Despite my railings I knew
I was Nabokov's nyphette,
even very early before
I knew what distinct pleasure
there was
in
that word
people called
evil.
For me, I was pretty
and evil was not, although
they're basically the same thing
I now realize.

Pleasing to the eye of everyone else
gave no pleasure and so
I learned to take it
for myself, in any
cheap presentation and fancy packaging
that it would be offered-

God
love
cigarettes
high-heels.

Of course,
all of these things are illusions
and may kill you in the end,
but they're all basically the same thing.

-J